How To Break Through Your Limiting Beliefs and Constraints

How do you wake up and discover your true passions, and live a life of purpose? By removing the masks of self-deception.

Who are you, really?

Over time we write a story about ourselves that we want to hear. For many, this story is what defines us as we journey through life. And yet, the tragedy is that we may be totally unaware of how deeply uncomfortable we are with who we have become. Most of us don’t afford ourselves the opportunity to stop, to put our lives on pause for one moment. Yet, we may desperately need to do so.

By starting a process of exponential self-inquiry, we begin to peel away our various masks of self-deception. We begin to peel away our story and we begin to remember who we really are. This process is often triggered by a traumatic life event – perhaps losing a loved one, being fired, your business going bust, burning out, an episode of depression, or a personal sickness. But you don’t have to wait for any of these things to happen to make a start.

One of the greatest travesties and regrets for so many people is that they get to their twilight years, start thinking about their impending death, and realise that they didn’t show up as themselves enough, or ever. And they are the lucky ones. They have a precious, yet fleeting, moment to realise that. Many people pass on without ever even having that realisation.

I want you to examine your life right now, not when it is too late. And if there is a realisation to be had, that requires realignment and a reinvention, this is perhaps the greatest gift I can give to you.

Wings of Awareness

The practice of exponential self-inquiry requires us to have two wings of awareness: self-honesty and self-acceptance.

First, we need to have the courage to cut through the veils of illusion and really look at what is true in our lives – acknowledge, name, and remain open to it. Second, we need to have a vast, open, radiant heart that can hold compassion no matter what truth we see in our lives.

We need both elements because we can’t really be honest and open with ourselves unless we have created a space that is accepting, a space that is forgiving, tender and kind and that can hold what we see without judgment, either of others or ourselves. Allowing self-blame to creep into this process is counterproductive. This space is a blame-exclusion zone.

Exponential self-inquiry is the process of bringing the truth into your field of compassion. This is because when your heart is open to the truth, the darkness and any demons have nowhere to hide.

The Programmed Mind

The various layers of the human brain have evolved to fixate on avoiding harm, enhancing pleasure, and driving attachment and connection to others. Avoiding harm is mainly felt psychologically as fear of failure, fear of our own deficiency and fear that we are going to make a mistake. Our natural state is one of being afraid of messing up, feeling inadequate, or not having the right qualities. This fearful state compels us to try harder to be sufficiently proficient at everything. However, this often means we spend too much time trying to avoid imagined, looming failures by blaming, judging, obsessing, and planning.

There is a real cost when we spend our time pretending, consciously or unconsciously, and being someone we’re not. This ‘inauthenticity tax’ is often expressed in the form of depression and stress, which can take a mental and physical toll on our health.

A New Self-Relationship

The game-changer, however, results from creating a practice of exploring your profound existential journey. This will help you to find out who you are so that you can lead, live, and work from a place of deeper self-understanding.

Arriving at this place, you’ll find that instead of ambulating along on someone else’s journey, you’ll acquire new energy and enjoy your own path. As such, it can be a powerful transformative trigger and one well worth spending time mastering.

Self-inquiry is neither a one-off nor perfectly achievable. It is a practice that you should aim to do regularly at various levels of intensity. Some forms of self-inquiry can be practised daily as interstitials between thought and action. Others require long, uninterrupted moments of contemplation and are best reserved for times you carve out during the year. These could be on an intercontinental flight or a week-long retreat.

Starting the Exponential Self-Inquiry Journey

You can start this process of self-exploration at any point. You can delve into your relationship with work, confront your fears, or contemplate what makes you feel vulnerable.

It is better to pull on a loose thread rather than unpick a new one. Think of this thread as a tipping point in unravelling your life and peering into areas that you’ve avoided exploring before.

By pulling on this thread, you may find that you start to unravel repressed memories, hidden fears, or forgone happiness. An example might be how you relate to money. Do you obsess about how much of it you have? What is causing this obsession? You might find that it goes all the way back to your childhood when your family struggled with finances.

Another childhood thread may be how you saw yourself when you were 12 years old. Perhaps you were that awkward kid who always felt unwanted? Did you constantly feel the need to prove yourself to family, friends, and society?

This thread needn’t be an area that is uncomfortable. It can sometimes be easier to begin this process by starting where you are comfortable exploring. For example, your relationship to work may be a less foreboding thread to pull than a repressed childhood bullying memory. Start there. As you get further into this process you can approach harder to explore areas, which require more courage. Those areas will require you to be your fiercest self.


This article was published in the October 2018 edition of LivingNow Magazine. To explore the concepts discussed here in more detail you can read my book Fierce Reinvention, available through Amazon and other leading online bookstores.

It’s Time To Ignite Your Burning Man, Again

Yep, almost time for BM 2018.

Watch this immersive video on the BM experience to get your creative and expressive juices flowing:

IGNITE: A Burning Man Experience from Ryan Moore on Vimeo.

 

How to Grow Exponentially as a Business Leader

Growing exponentially, or exoscaling, as a business leader requires a very special mix of attributes.

I look for the kernel of these attributes in the people I love to work with and help them build up these capabilities to the point where they are humming like a well-tuned engine.

I like to call these the Awake Attributes: because they require you to be awake to your situation and surroundings; you are aware, conscious and mindful of the present.

By contrast are the people who exude the Asleep Attributes: they follow the herd, never questioning, permanently stuck in the commute-slow lane of life; they are totally unaware of the illusory cravings that they and society have constructed, they are reactive, making knee-jerk decisions that negatively impact those around them and themselves.

Here are my top four Awake Attributes:

1. Drinking from the fire hydrant. A passion for learning every single detail of your business and universe: they have no off switch when it comes to their focus area; every detail, no matter how big or small is treated like a gift, savoured and assimilated into your knowledge base, and applied back into your life and business in unique ways.

2. Treating life like an obstacle course. The resilience to tackle difficult situations with relish and achieve better than expected outcomes as a result. Problems don’t phase you, as all you see are opportunities to grow yourself, the people around you and your business. Leaders love challenges and positively frame what emerges. Exoscaling leaders thrive on directionally-correct chaos.

3. Competing with yourself, not the status quo. A desire to win that transcends the world around you, and which leads you to massively outperform your potential competition.

4. Looping feedback and translating that into action. Always being open to input from others requires a mix of assuredness and mindfulness.

These Awake Attributes are like muscles in that they can be strengthened over time. By constantly checking in with yourself to see if you have the right mindset you can become stronger and stronger at being more and more awake.

Here are my top ten mindset enablers for strengthening your Awake Attributes, exoscaling as a leader and achieving peak-awakeness:

1. Problem finding rather than problem solving;

2. Ask questions, don’t provide answers;

3. Focus on being in service of society, not in service of industry;

4. Operate for how the world will be, not how the world is;

5. Think beyond futures, and explore parallel worlds;

6. Make the unreal real, not the real real;

7. Think implication, not application;

8. Innovation is so yesterday, it’s all about provocation;

9. Build to make us think, not to make us buy;

10. Ethics trumps user-friendliness.

How to Lead with the Power of Purpose

Fred Kofman, who until recently was VP of Leadership Development at LinkedIn, is best known for his book and teachings around Conscious Business. I suspect that is about to change and he will become even better known for his latest work on transformative leadership, thanks to his new book, The Meaning Revolution: Leading with the Power of Purpose, which is now out.

He defines transformative leadership as helping staff to feel connected to a great mission or purpose, and empowering them to discover the ‘immortality project’ at the core of your business.

The book is a call to arms for the pandemic of disengagement amongst employees and it provides actionable advice for finding more dignity and meaning in work.

Part 3 of the book explores self-transcendence and includes part of the story of my sudden cardiac death in the Chapter titled Die Before You Die. As Fred says, my brush with death gave me a greater understanding of purpose and was the trigger for my personal transformation.

I wanted to bring this book to your attention, not only because it includes my experience, but also because of the masterful way in which Fred weaves together how we can find meaning and live our lives with purpose, while also empowering the people who we lead to do so as well.

Acclaim for The Meaning Revolution includes:

“The Meaning Revolution makes the case that leadership isn’t just about the mind. It’s also about the spirit. Fred’s book shows how when we set goals that reflect our values as well as our interests—when our teams strive to make a positive impact on the world together—we can achieve more than success. We can find greater purpose and meaning.” —Sheryl Sandberg, COO of Facebook

“I believe culture needs to be about realizing personal passions and using the company as a platform to pursue those passions. Fred Kofman explores that notion even more deeply through vivid stories and truly profound reflections on business leadership and conscious capitalism. What is your noble purpose? Are your kids proud of your company’s mission? Why might the biggest beneficiary of your business be your competitors’ customers and employees? Read on!” —Satya Nadella, CEO of Microsoft

“As Fred Kofman makes brilliantly clear in The Meaning Revolution, real leadership is not about hitting your numbers—it’s about creating a culture of purpose and meaning, and inspiring others to realize that they can make a lasting difference in the world around them.” —Arianna Huffington, founder and CEO of Thrive Global

Here’s How to Set Goals That Last and Last

The intention to set new goals often outlasts their pursuit. 

This is the depressing truth as you start the new year all shiny, happy and ready to take on the world.

But hey, don’t let that reality stop you from dreaming big.  Because the uplifting truth is that the more courageous, the more consequential your goals, the more open to possibility you will be.

Goals of Consequence share a common attribute, courage: it takes courage not to dismiss Goals of Consequence out of hand as too hard, as too out there.

Compare this usual goal:

“My goal is to write an article for my local newspaper in the next 3 months”,

to this Goal of Consequence:

“My goal is to write a global best-selling book that is translated into 11 different languages within 12 months.”

And this one from the corporate arena:

“My goal as CEO is to increase the share price by 15 percent over the next 5 years”

versus

“My goal as CEO is to reinvent global transportation over the next 5 years.”

Boom, right!

I write extensively about setting Goals of Consequence and creating an operating system for your life and business in my book Fierce Reinvention: A Guide to Harnessing Your Superpowers for Entrepreneurial and Leadership Success. It is available on Amazon and other leading online bookstores.

How to Find Peace and Save Yourself a Ton Trying To Escape Your Life

Sometimes life just sucks. You are totally bored with the everyday drudge of commute, work, commute. Your boss doesn’t get you. You don’t get the company. The same route to the office, day in, day out. And the weather. I could go on.

Life would be so much better if you could just escape for a few weeks: go some place warm; go some place where you can find peace; go some place where you can shut out everything that is causing you anxiety and stress.

But here’s the thing: you take your anxiety wherever you go. There is no escaping it.

You will be in a constant state of anxiety: when you try to get away from the things causing you stress; when you hold tight to the things that make you happy.

It is far more practical to relax with the things that are stressing you out; to relax with your life as it is, right now.

The immediate benefit of relaxing into your reality will be an overarching sense of ease in your life.

The path to peacefulness is counterintuitive. Instead of running from your current life, run toward and into everything.

You will discover that peace is not found at some exotic location.

Peace is right here, with you. And as a bonus: you can return to it anytime you like.

Here’s How Viewing Reality Differently Can Reduce Your Pain and Suffering

Reality sucks. It causes you so much pain. Why would you ever want to experience more of it?

But here’s the thing:

If you could view reality differently, you could potentially reduce the pain and suffering you are in.

Think on this…

The entire point of being human,
The sole reason for your heightened awareness,
Is so that you can discover the truth about yourself,
The truth about others,
And the truth about reality.

For one reason:

So that you can stop suffering and help others stop suffering too.

Stick with me here as I illustrate what I mean:

You are having a relatively good day in the office
When a colleague makes some snide comment.

You feel terribly hurt and become intensely angry inside.

At first you try not to react,
But your anger boils over,
And you snap back at her.

She expresses absolute surprise at your response.

“That’s not what I meant at all?
I was complimenting you for a job well done.”

And then it hits you.
She isn’t lying.
You misheard.
You misinterpreted her intent.

Not only do you feel like a fool,
But you are also amazed at how your misinterpretation
Gave rise to such a huge emotional complex.

This is the point of understanding what is real:

It is not only the secret to non-suffering,
But is also the secret to joy.

Hey Technologist, Revel In Your Culture of Killing It, But Realize That Inside You Are Dying

I want to highlight an article in the NY Times about the Big Sur, California-based Esalen Institute reopening. Why this is so interesting is because its new mission is “to help technologists who discover that ‘inside they’re hurting”.

Entrepreneurs and business leaders, particularly from the technology industry are starting to get one of my key messages: “Technology without meaning is like work without fulfilment: purposeless noise.”

As Ben Tauber, the new Executive Director at Esalen, puts it:

There’s a dawning consciousness emerging in Silicon Valley as people recognise that their conventional success isn’t necessarily making the world a better place. The CEOs, inside they’re hurting. They can’t sleep at night.

Another nearby centre, 1440 Multiversity, which lies nestled in the California redwoods near Santa Cruz, has a similar message in its goal: to recognise that the blazing success of the internet catalysed powerful connections, yet did not help people connect to themselves.

1440 was founded by Scott Kriens, Chairman and former CEO of Juniper Networks, with the rationale that there is “great power in immersion learning – setting aside daily urgencies and dedicating uninterrupted time and energy to focus on our more important, but often more elusive, priorities.”

One of the key questions technologists are starting to ask themselves is whether they are doing the right thing for humanity. It’s all very well building a highly addictive, behaviour changing piece of technology, but if it doesn’t progress humanity in some way then what is the point?

Before heading up Esalen, Ben Tauber had created a real-time celebrity geo-stalking service called JustSpotted and then joined Google as an acqui-hire. He then decided his work was causing harm. “I realized I was addicting people to their phones. It’s a crisis that everyone’s in the culture of killing it, and inside they’re dying.”

As former Google chef Bodhi Kalayjian, who now bakes bread at Esalen says, “Everybody’s got a soul. It’s about finding it.”

The article also quotes Gopi Kallayil, Google’s chief evangelist of brand marketing. He has been wondering about the impact of his work and said that many of the people who came to him had floundered this year.

Ultimately, it’s about finding meaning in your work and ensuring that what you invest your precious time into is something that you can feel proud of.

5 Steps to Successfully Hacking Your Body/Energy Algorithm in Real Time

Tim Chang is a Silicon Valley-based venture capitalist and truth seeker who has spent years experimenting with optimising his performance. He suggests a do it yourself body/energy hack that will give you visibility to how your body and energy levels react to various inputs and, based on this real time feedback, you can then personalize what you consume and increase your performance levels.

Here are Tim’s 5 steps:
1) wear a continuous blood glucose monitor like the FreeStyle Libre for several days.

2) observe how your levels rise and fall based on specific foods you eat, as well as how much and when you eat them — you may be surprised by how your body reacts specifically to different types of foods vs others!

3) do a bit of A/B testing with different regimens, and see how your blood sugar levels respond to: no/low sugar; no/low carb; intermittent fasting [“IF”] (daily IF 16/8 split vs. weekly or monthly 1-3 day IF).

4) explore some of the cutting edge supplements out there like Ketone Esters, and experiment with synthesizing the effects of fasting and ketogenic diets — Tim got to try an early sample of HVMN’s ketone esters, and was amazed to see how his ketone levels jumped in real-time, as well as the sustained energy boost afterwards… it made him ponder the future of consumer ketone esters as a 5-hour Energy & Red Bull-killer, and perhaps as a gateway towards the benefits of intermittent fasting and ketogenic diets.

5) most importantly, NEVER blindly follow or accept anyone’s prescribed regimen or methodology* — hack for yourself, on yourself, and see what works or doesn’t for you 🙂

(* Tim has definitely learned to back off of his own previously espoused formulas and regimens, after finding that stacking paleo + minimal carb + IF + heavy-meat/high-protein body-building diets for years led to formation of kidney stone crystals, and potential onset of gout!)