What if you were to suddenly die? Would you wish you had seized life more?
My new book Fierce Reinvention – out on 2nd October – will challenge you to live a more fulfilled life.
I’m excited to bring you news of the availability of my book Fierce Reinvention: A Guide to Harnessing Your Superpowers for Entrepreneurial and Leadership Success. The book is about behaviour change; it is a guide to the higher, transcendent level of leadership, compassion and fearlessness required to grow our humanness and stand tall against the tide of technological change and corporate disengagement swirling around us.
Launch date has been set for October 2nd, 2017; the pre-release paperback is available right now on Amazon; if you prefer to read it electronically, the digital version is on pre-order at all your favourite bookstores – Apple iBooks, Kobo, Barnes & Noble, to name a few; if you are a Kindle fanatic, the pre-order will be available in early July as they have a 90-day limit on pre-orders.
This book has been a two-year journey of love and passion for me triggered initially by my sudden cardiac death experience and, in the last 8 months, bookended by my father’s fierce fight with stage IV cancer.
I’ve grown in every moment of bringing it to fruition: sharing many of my thoughts with you in bite-size chunks; crystallising the operating system we use at EXOscalr into a more scalable version that can be implemented by anyone or any organisation and, thereby, progressing towards my moonshot goal of impacting 2 billion people by 2025; learning the intricacies of publishing in 2017 and comparing it to how it worked when I was in the industry in the 1990s – my takeout is that while still nascent and overly complicated, self-publishing rocks.
We will be working on a range of fun marketing and publicity activities as the campaign around Fierce Reinvention gathers steam. I would love to hear your thoughts on activities we could include in the campaign to get the book out to a wide audience.
I want to give a shout out to Linnae Pienaar for being the first person on the planet to buy a copy of the book. That’s her in the picture above, at home in Japan, proudly holding up her copy. Thanks for always being fierce, Linnae!
The website for the book is at fiercereinvention.com and I look forward to sharing more news with you over the coming months.
This post is about growing your humanness and spirit through constant metamorphosis and reinvention.
We are ready for reinvention when we become aware of the constraints of the chrysalis we have been living in. This awakening is accompanied by the realisation that it is time for us to extend beyond the capsule of self, the pod that has defined us; it is time for us to reinvent ourselves and, transformed, take off for expanded horizons.
Our egoic thoughts, our limiting beliefs and our behaviours form the capsule’s walls. While these may serve us in our earlier phases of self-development there comes a time when we need to move beyond them; this time is marked by our exposure to an expanded reality, which may be through a single catalytic event like a death in the family, the loss of a relationship or job or even your own near death experience as was the case for me; or this widening of our reality may be a more gradual process, hardly noticeable at first, but as we expose ourselves to more and more of it we open up to a greater and more faster flowing reality, much like a small drop of water that is initially flowing on the back of a leaf down a slow moving stream and, as that stream joins the more turbulent waters of a larger river, the drop slips off the leaf into the wider waters; the drop is now far more vulnerable, but has also opened to a much greater canvas of possibility.
We take on what I call ‘fierce risk’ when we have greater and greater exposure to unknowns, to danger outside of our control and to the possibility of loss; by letting go of the familiar, foregoing our sense of security and not holding onto comfort-generating, past experiences this fierce risk empowers us to feel more and more alive. Breaking out of our chrysalis and embracing our fears takes a special kind of bravery and courage that is wrapped up in a sensitivity to our surroundings; this situational responsiveness is beautifully encapsulated in the word ‘fierce’; it is not about ferociously cutlassing through the walls of our cocoon; nor is it about blindly stepping into the future; this is about living each moment as if it were our last, without filters, zero constraints and openly aware to the risks that come with doing so and being comfortable with the uncomfortableness that may arise.
Fierce risk requires of us that we be fiercely present: we are unconditional in meeting the moment, no ifs or buts, no regrets or wishes, however small, should sway us or hold us in check. When one of your staff enters your office and you are fiercely present they can tangibly feel your focus. When your young son asks you a question at the dinner table he can feel when you are there for him, as his father, and not lost in processing deadlines, emails and meetings.
In this contemplation I want us to think about the benefits of seizing each moment gently and with the openness of fierce risk. Our creature comforts and habits make this a hard thing to do; we identify with our capsule; we are attached to the pod that we live within; our egoic nature habituates control as a counter to fear; we strive for what we think we need; we hold onto what we value and what gives us security; we forage and scramble for fleeting happiness and avoid pain; death is perennially a taboo topic.
It is not easy to break down the walls of your capsule when so much of what you do on a daily basis is centered around strengthening them. These centering forces are either positively or negatively aligned: positive forces include the need to control, the desire for fame, praise, recognition, success and the unquenchable thirst for pleasure; negative forces include the aversion to being blamed, avoiding pain and not recognising failure. Our pod is reinforced by the acquisition of more and more of these positive forces and the shedding of the negative ones.
What acts as a catalyst to our continued growth beyond our current capsule? What empowers us to break through the walls of our pod? Is there an event taking place in our lives that can act as a chrysalis trigger? Where are we sensing that trigger within our lives? Where do we find the walls of the capsule closing in on us? Where is the pod weakest that we may use this as a beachhead to break through?
Are you constantly trying to overachieve? Do you resent the behaviour of a member of your team to the point where you blame them even when they are not behaving ‘badly’. Do you fear the judgment of your peers. Do you self-medicate your stress with alcohol? Has you life partner walked out on you because you haven’t been present in the relationship for ages? Are you obsessively anxious about events you have little control over? These are all examples of the walls closing in on us. We can wrap ourselves in more tightly, keeping the outside world at bay, and ultimately give more power to the walls themselves; or we can see these things as triggers for us to step up, break out and begin to build a practice of being fiercely present and gently seizing the fierce risk.
A CONTEMPLATION ON FIERCE RISK
Picture your mind as part of the fast moving river we spoke of earlier.
Take a deep breath in and pause.
Open your mind and let the initial swirl of thoughts wash through.
As you slowly exhale, find yourself eddied out of the main current. You are close to the river bank and high overhead a willow tree’s branches and leaves offer you shade from the glare of the sun.
Take another, slower deep breath in and pause at the top of your breath.
As you breath out feel the air moving through you, feel yourself being more present within your body.
Now channel your thoughts and settle on a person who means a lot to you, someone who disquiets or excites your mind either because you are anxious about how they feel about you, you worry about how they may judge you or because you feel a responsibility or a duty of care towards them.
What is it that has been said between you?
What is it that has yet to be said?
How do you want them to judge you?
How are they currently relating to you?
Visualise your most recent encounter with this person.
What part of your ego showed up in this interaction?
What was your disposition, did any of your usual habits arise?
Was any fierce risk present in this engagement with them?
How would it feel to gently seize the fierce risk with them?
Would it feel like you are uncloaking from your old chrysalis?
Would it feel more open, more present, more vulnerable?
While your focus has been on a recent encounter with this person, think now about your next meeting with them. How might this be different without your current habits and egoic limitations?
In what way would fierce risk change how you relate to them?
One of the most powerful places for us to seize the fierce risk is in relation to the delusion of disrepute: we become self-absorbed with our unworthiness, we wallow in our reverie of shame, we are absorbed by our wickedness, we feel stupid and have a myriad of other self-deprecating thoughts. This delusion is particular prevalent when we deal with people who are important to us in our lives. One small comment from such a person at work can send us into a frenzy.
And so we opt instead to remain in our pod of comfort: what if I was totally myself and they didn’t like it? What if they pierced my veil and saw my doubts and fears? What would they think of me then, that I’m not worthy of my role, that I am not qualified to take on this position? This encapsulated delusion of disrepute closes in on us and is a powerful place for us to practice fierce risk. Instead of continuing the flow of such thoughts we empower ourselves to pause, to disentangle ourselves from them as they are simply thoughts, they do not define us.
Delve into these thoughts and feel out if by fostering them you are making them more powerful; picture what it would be like to cleanse yourself of these thoughts, do you feel a draw towards extending beyond them? If you do then you are ready to gently seize the fierce risk.
Focus again on the next time you are with this person of interest to you.
Imagine the place, the smell, the temperature, the sounds; visualise their eyes looking into yours, the expression on their face, the angle of their head; picture yourself gently seizing the fierce risk and opening to vulnerably being with that person; you are present in that moment without a need to control the situation.
Don’t allow any form of predisposed bias to intervene in this scene; if any past encounter tries to surface let it pass through you just as you let thoughts pass through your mind when you are meditating.
Try to see this person through fresh eyes, empty of any and all previous experiences; as you do so take note of what you arises as if anew; seeing them as if for the first time what may you have previously missed.
As you allow fierce risk to enter this relationship and break through your chrysalis you will throw aside behaviours, filters and habits they may have prevented you from seeing the love in this person. That love is extremely powerful and can itself trigger you to find love in more and more people. This is the transformative power of reinvention at work. Let it lighten your life and the lives of all those you come into contact with.
Come back to the present moment and bring your fierce risk with you. Allow it to grow, from the size of a small, germinating seed as you break out of the bonds of your chrysalis and, over time, let it tower above and around you as you slip back into the waters of the fast flowing river of life.
Grow your humanness and spirit through constant metamorphosis and reinvention.
As always, thank you for taking the time to read my thoughts. I do appreciate your continued interest in my work at EXOscalr and I love sharing my thoughts and insights with you.
The website for my upcoming book, Fierce Reinvention, is taking shape at https://www.
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Imagine for a moment what it would be like working in an organisation that is under huge pressures to grow, to transform itself and to beat the competition; an organisation that is mandated to do more with less and to do more differently rather than following the status quo. For many of us this is a daily reality. We can palpably feel the sense of urgency these pressures create.
Every moment of every day such an organisation is very likely to be under real existential threat: existing competitors are trying to grab our customer base and startups are gunning to make us irrelevant with disruptive solutions. Now imagine that your leaders not only fear organisational irrelevancy and death, but also fear their own professional and actual death: these leaders are caught between the need to change and charge ahead and the paralysing fear of not existing.
Two main questions arise from this all too common situation: firstly, how can such leaders lead well when they are stuck like deer in existential headlights worrying that they could drop dead at any moment; and secondly, how can a person survive and thrive when they are working in such a company for such fearful leaders; how can people be expected to find purpose and meaning in their work; how can they remain engaged when they are working within such an environment of existential fear?
The short answer to both questions is that they cannot and the workplace surveys reflect this: big time. There is a paucity of purposeful leadership: by purpose I mean a goal that is bigger than our company’s results or share price. There is also a massive breakdown in staff engagement within the corporate universe.
To tackle this problem leaders need to be able to overwrite their fears; alter their reality and reinvent themselves; they need to be happier with greater overall life satisfaction, more in tune with a higher purpose and completely devoid of their previous fear of death.
This is not a trivial problem to solve for and the two overarching questions that emerge are: how can we as business leaders find a solution to this paralysing and very real corporate pandemic; how can we help our executives to deal with their fear?
The answer lies in confronting that which we fear most: no matter how uncomfortable it may feel, we need to stare death in the face. On the face of it this may not seem possible: how can we truly confront death without dying ourselves? Surely that would defeat the purpose?
There is an elegant solution: exploring death through the eyes of people who have been there and come back, exploring death through people who have undergone a near-death experience. Why them? Many NDEers no longer fear death.
In a study published in 2004 on near-death experiences and their impact on the temporal lobe, Brown University’s Willoughby Britton made a startling discovery: people who had transcendent encounters during life-threatening events scored exceptionally higher on tests of overall life satisfaction than people who hadn’t. She referenced thirty years of research to show that while most people were negatively impacted and traumatised by their near-death experience, a subset who had experienced some form of transcendence had an atypical response: they exhibited off the charts happiness and life satisfaction, including feeling that their lives had meaning and a higher purpose. By transcendence I refer to some experience that has the quality of being beyond the normal constraints we feel: linear time collapses; the well-defined sense of self dissolves; there is unity between the internal and external senses; there is reconnection back into a larger, collective otherness than the present life experience. Not all NDEers experience this transcendence, but a great many have.
Further research has demonstrated that this is not a one-off feeling that dissipates in the short to mid term. People who have undergone a transcendent NDE have had their brains permanently rewired so that they do not fear death. As long as a decade after such an NDE, those who have experienced it feel the same level of happiness, reverence and lack of existential fear.
Three years after my own transcendent NDE I can personally attest to this: yes, it took me a while to deal with the shock of my sudden cardiac death, there were moments of emotional turmoil along the way; yes, it took me a while to recuperate from my illness as only another major operation 10 months laterremoved the arrhythmia that had caused my cardiac arrest; but yes, I have absolutely overwritten and have no fear of dying whatsoever; and resoundingly yes, I have completely reinvented my life and have off the charts life satisfaction as I pursue a far greater purpose than my own selfish success or that of one organisation.
It would be impractical for organisations to only use transcendent NDE survivors as their leaders, but I would encourage dialogue with people like myself who are open to sharing our experiences and key learnings; people who are focused on improving leadership skills and helping executives to reinvent themselves with many of the traits that transcendent NDEers exhibit such as deeper compassion and wisdom.
There is also greater understanding of how to create an on tap emulation of the effects of a transcendent NDE and I encourage you to follow this growing activity more closely. It is an area we are exploring at EXOscalr. There will be a lot to gain from having first mover advantage in being able to recreate altered states of consciousness.