What is holding you back, right now, from living the life you want? Fierce Reinvention – out 2nd October – will challenge you to create a life with real purpose. For pre-orders: bit.ly/FierceReinventionebook
What if you were to suddenly die? Would you wish you had seized life more?
My new book Fierce Reinvention – out on 2nd October – will challenge you to live a more fulfilled life.
I’m excited to bring you news of the availability of my book Fierce Reinvention: A Guide to Harnessing Your Superpowers for Entrepreneurial and Leadership Success. The book is about behaviour change; it is a guide to the higher, transcendent level of leadership, compassion and fearlessness required to grow our humanness and stand tall against the tide of technological change and corporate disengagement swirling around us.
Launch date has been set for October 2nd, 2017; the pre-release paperback is available right now on Amazon; if you prefer to read it electronically, the digital version is on pre-order at all your favourite bookstores – Apple iBooks, Kobo, Barnes & Noble, to name a few; if you are a Kindle fanatic, the pre-order will be available in early July as they have a 90-day limit on pre-orders.
This book has been a two-year journey of love and passion for me triggered initially by my sudden cardiac death experience and, in the last 8 months, bookended by my father’s fierce fight with stage IV cancer.
I’ve grown in every moment of bringing it to fruition: sharing many of my thoughts with you in bite-size chunks; crystallising the operating system we use at EXOscalr into a more scalable version that can be implemented by anyone or any organisation and, thereby, progressing towards my moonshot goal of impacting 2 billion people by 2025; learning the intricacies of publishing in 2017 and comparing it to how it worked when I was in the industry in the 1990s – my takeout is that while still nascent and overly complicated, self-publishing rocks.
We will be working on a range of fun marketing and publicity activities as the campaign around Fierce Reinvention gathers steam. I would love to hear your thoughts on activities we could include in the campaign to get the book out to a wide audience.
I want to give a shout out to Linnae Pienaar for being the first person on the planet to buy a copy of the book. That’s her in the picture above, at home in Japan, proudly holding up her copy. Thanks for always being fierce, Linnae!
The website for the book is at fiercereinvention.com and I look forward to sharing more news with you over the coming months.
This post is about growing your humanness and spirit through constant metamorphosis and reinvention.
We are ready for reinvention when we become aware of the constraints of the chrysalis we have been living in. This awakening is accompanied by the realisation that it is time for us to extend beyond the capsule of self, the pod that has defined us; it is time for us to reinvent ourselves and, transformed, take off for expanded horizons.
Our egoic thoughts, our limiting beliefs and our behaviours form the capsule’s walls. While these may serve us in our earlier phases of self-development there comes a time when we need to move beyond them; this time is marked by our exposure to an expanded reality, which may be through a single catalytic event like a death in the family, the loss of a relationship or job or even your own near death experience as was the case for me; or this widening of our reality may be a more gradual process, hardly noticeable at first, but as we expose ourselves to more and more of it we open up to a greater and more faster flowing reality, much like a small drop of water that is initially flowing on the back of a leaf down a slow moving stream and, as that stream joins the more turbulent waters of a larger river, the drop slips off the leaf into the wider waters; the drop is now far more vulnerable, but has also opened to a much greater canvas of possibility.
We take on what I call ‘fierce risk’ when we have greater and greater exposure to unknowns, to danger outside of our control and to the possibility of loss; by letting go of the familiar, foregoing our sense of security and not holding onto comfort-generating, past experiences this fierce risk empowers us to feel more and more alive. Breaking out of our chrysalis and embracing our fears takes a special kind of bravery and courage that is wrapped up in a sensitivity to our surroundings; this situational responsiveness is beautifully encapsulated in the word ‘fierce’; it is not about ferociously cutlassing through the walls of our cocoon; nor is it about blindly stepping into the future; this is about living each moment as if it were our last, without filters, zero constraints and openly aware to the risks that come with doing so and being comfortable with the uncomfortableness that may arise.
Fierce risk requires of us that we be fiercely present: we are unconditional in meeting the moment, no ifs or buts, no regrets or wishes, however small, should sway us or hold us in check. When one of your staff enters your office and you are fiercely present they can tangibly feel your focus. When your young son asks you a question at the dinner table he can feel when you are there for him, as his father, and not lost in processing deadlines, emails and meetings.
In this contemplation I want us to think about the benefits of seizing each moment gently and with the openness of fierce risk. Our creature comforts and habits make this a hard thing to do; we identify with our capsule; we are attached to the pod that we live within; our egoic nature habituates control as a counter to fear; we strive for what we think we need; we hold onto what we value and what gives us security; we forage and scramble for fleeting happiness and avoid pain; death is perennially a taboo topic.
It is not easy to break down the walls of your capsule when so much of what you do on a daily basis is centered around strengthening them. These centering forces are either positively or negatively aligned: positive forces include the need to control, the desire for fame, praise, recognition, success and the unquenchable thirst for pleasure; negative forces include the aversion to being blamed, avoiding pain and not recognising failure. Our pod is reinforced by the acquisition of more and more of these positive forces and the shedding of the negative ones.
What acts as a catalyst to our continued growth beyond our current capsule? What empowers us to break through the walls of our pod? Is there an event taking place in our lives that can act as a chrysalis trigger? Where are we sensing that trigger within our lives? Where do we find the walls of the capsule closing in on us? Where is the pod weakest that we may use this as a beachhead to break through?
Are you constantly trying to overachieve? Do you resent the behaviour of a member of your team to the point where you blame them even when they are not behaving ‘badly’. Do you fear the judgment of your peers. Do you self-medicate your stress with alcohol? Has you life partner walked out on you because you haven’t been present in the relationship for ages? Are you obsessively anxious about events you have little control over? These are all examples of the walls closing in on us. We can wrap ourselves in more tightly, keeping the outside world at bay, and ultimately give more power to the walls themselves; or we can see these things as triggers for us to step up, break out and begin to build a practice of being fiercely present and gently seizing the fierce risk.
A CONTEMPLATION ON FIERCE RISK
Picture your mind as part of the fast moving river we spoke of earlier.
Take a deep breath in and pause.
Open your mind and let the initial swirl of thoughts wash through.
As you slowly exhale, find yourself eddied out of the main current. You are close to the river bank and high overhead a willow tree’s branches and leaves offer you shade from the glare of the sun.
Take another, slower deep breath in and pause at the top of your breath.
As you breath out feel the air moving through you, feel yourself being more present within your body.
Now channel your thoughts and settle on a person who means a lot to you, someone who disquiets or excites your mind either because you are anxious about how they feel about you, you worry about how they may judge you or because you feel a responsibility or a duty of care towards them.
What is it that has been said between you?
What is it that has yet to be said?
How do you want them to judge you?
How are they currently relating to you?
Visualise your most recent encounter with this person.
What part of your ego showed up in this interaction?
What was your disposition, did any of your usual habits arise?
Was any fierce risk present in this engagement with them?
How would it feel to gently seize the fierce risk with them?
Would it feel like you are uncloaking from your old chrysalis?
Would it feel more open, more present, more vulnerable?
While your focus has been on a recent encounter with this person, think now about your next meeting with them. How might this be different without your current habits and egoic limitations?
In what way would fierce risk change how you relate to them?
One of the most powerful places for us to seize the fierce risk is in relation to the delusion of disrepute: we become self-absorbed with our unworthiness, we wallow in our reverie of shame, we are absorbed by our wickedness, we feel stupid and have a myriad of other self-deprecating thoughts. This delusion is particular prevalent when we deal with people who are important to us in our lives. One small comment from such a person at work can send us into a frenzy.
And so we opt instead to remain in our pod of comfort: what if I was totally myself and they didn’t like it? What if they pierced my veil and saw my doubts and fears? What would they think of me then, that I’m not worthy of my role, that I am not qualified to take on this position? This encapsulated delusion of disrepute closes in on us and is a powerful place for us to practice fierce risk. Instead of continuing the flow of such thoughts we empower ourselves to pause, to disentangle ourselves from them as they are simply thoughts, they do not define us.
Delve into these thoughts and feel out if by fostering them you are making them more powerful; picture what it would be like to cleanse yourself of these thoughts, do you feel a draw towards extending beyond them? If you do then you are ready to gently seize the fierce risk.
Focus again on the next time you are with this person of interest to you.
Imagine the place, the smell, the temperature, the sounds; visualise their eyes looking into yours, the expression on their face, the angle of their head; picture yourself gently seizing the fierce risk and opening to vulnerably being with that person; you are present in that moment without a need to control the situation.
Don’t allow any form of predisposed bias to intervene in this scene; if any past encounter tries to surface let it pass through you just as you let thoughts pass through your mind when you are meditating.
Try to see this person through fresh eyes, empty of any and all previous experiences; as you do so take note of what you arises as if anew; seeing them as if for the first time what may you have previously missed.
As you allow fierce risk to enter this relationship and break through your chrysalis you will throw aside behaviours, filters and habits they may have prevented you from seeing the love in this person. That love is extremely powerful and can itself trigger you to find love in more and more people. This is the transformative power of reinvention at work. Let it lighten your life and the lives of all those you come into contact with.
Come back to the present moment and bring your fierce risk with you. Allow it to grow, from the size of a small, germinating seed as you break out of the bonds of your chrysalis and, over time, let it tower above and around you as you slip back into the waters of the fast flowing river of life.
Grow your humanness and spirit through constant metamorphosis and reinvention.
As always, thank you for taking the time to read my thoughts. I do appreciate your continued interest in my work at EXOscalr and I love sharing my thoughts and insights with you.
The website for my upcoming book, Fierce Reinvention, is taking shape at https://www.
If you like what you read and want to get advance content in your inbox then sign up for my newsletter here: http://eepurl.com/bxGzD1
In this post I want to talk about the Fierce Leadership Framework, which has three layers, all of which are required for us to live life fully, directly face death and transcend to being truly fierce leaders: the fierceness of a warrior, a fierce heart, and a fiercely open vulnerability.
When we think of warriors our mind goes immediately to people who summon their inner courage and are brave enough to confront dangerous situations and emergencies: heroes who have shown no regard for their own safety and, without hesitation, have dived in to rescue some poor hapless soul in distress; soldiers who persistently and vigorously battle against an oppressive foe; doctors and health care workers who rise above their own physical and mental exhaustion to constantly tackle pain and suffering, bringing much needed relief to the sick and dying; we think of people who are driven by a heady mix of adrenaline, beliefs and training to do outrageously incredible things that take our breath away and leave us inspired.
Being a fierce warrior in the context of leadership can be all those things, but it is for the most part a bit more every day: as CEO having the courage to stand up to your forceful major shareholder and chairman to say no to their pet project because it doesn’t make strategic sense for the company; telling a team member that they are not pulling their weight when you know this will be an uncomfortable conversation; being positive and rallying the business with a strong vision when you are struggling with the emotional turmoil ofyour own depression, the death of a family member or a crumbling marriage. In fact, for most of us every day life takes a level of fierceness. It takes the courage to fiercely choose to do what we believe is right in any given situation no matter how hard or adverse the initial consequences.
The ultimate fierce warrior mix is a combination of commitment, devotion to a higher purpose, adherence to an internal guidance system of ethics, honor and morals, service to colleagues, others and the company and a balance of intelligence and wisdom. We do have to be cautious of a shadow fierceness that, bordering on ferocious, can arise as a result of a need to control, a craving for approval, a defensiveness, shame or even a deluded feeling of invulnerability. Don’t be misled by the word warrior, or even fierce, this is not about conquering armies of demons or vanquishing your or the world’s enemies. Invoking visualisations that tap into this aggressive meme ultimately encourage unnecessary denial, rejection and striving. A good way to check if you are on path as a fierce warrior is to embody this feeling. Let your body show you the way. You should feel your fierce warrior in your belly.
Our fierce warrior is not about eradicating fear by pushing it away or ignoring it; it is about facing fear and being present with our superpowers even when we are terrified. There are six powerful ways it shows up: firstly, it empowers us to confront ignorance wherever we find it; secondly, it ensures we are not entrapped in uncertainty; thirdly, we don’t fall for habitual complacency; fourthly, we commit to staying the course under adversity and difficult circumstances; fifthly, we turn in the direction of suffering instead of avoiding it; and sixthly, we take on the risk of the unknown over the known.
The second level of being fierce, fierce heart is an undefended stance in which we openly feel everything, without judgement. With fierce heart we openly allow ourselves to be touched not only by untainted beauty and goodness, but also by unfiltered evil and horror. The intensity of fierceness required for fierce heart is more akin to laser-focused passion than the bravery of being a fierce warrior: we focus this intensity on persisting with the truth of what we experience, no matter how dark this may become; rather than rejecting what is right here and now for us, we face it head on with eyes wide open. This fierceness in our receptivity to what is taking place creates the space within which we can register, plumb the depths or the heights of, and ultimately merge with our fears. Through this fierce heart we include whatever emotion, fear or thought we had been wanting to avoid, which helps us deal with a situation as a leader rather than creating a wall around it.
Our openly fierce heart also empowers up to be deeply compassionate for the suffering of others. This is where we shine as fierce leaders, for in our realisation that we all have fears, we are able to stand with and support others in their fear.
A confronting story which portrays fierce heart at work involves a suicide bombing incident. A suicide bomber walked into the middle of a busy morning market and pushed the detonator. The bomb went off killing and maiming many people, but for some inexplicable reason the suicide bomber was not killed outright. When the first responders arrived on the scene they found one of the injured comforting the suicide bomber who was in the process of bleeding out on the sidewalk. The injured man was able to look beyond the evil, the pain and the death and, invoking his fierce heart, connect at the most basic level with another human being in their hour of need.
Fierce vulnerability is the third level of fierce leadership and it is the most open to our inner selves. It is a portal to our soul nature and through this entryway we are able to plumb our deeper dimensions. While the word vulnerable literally translates as ‘to wound’, fierce vulnerability is less associated with a susceptibility to harm of any kind, be it physical or emotional in nature. Our initial response to any form of vulnerability is to try to avoid it. However, fierce vulnerability is less of a curse and more of a blessing for us as leaders.
Allowing ourselves to experience fierce vulnerability we become more receptive to experiencing our emotions, we perceive our thoughts with greater clarity and we more acutely sense all the pains and the pleasures of our bodies. Through this heightened capacity to be vulnerable we are able to also witness all planes of reality: we become more aware of our permeability; we unmask our identities and realise that they are not fixed; we notice and embrace the impermanence of everything. Our fierce vulnerability gives us the power to embrace constant change: we open to the endless parameters of human existence, including the more oblique, deeper and timeless dimensions; we see clearly that our compulsions, fixations and habits are an empty shell echoing our constant chatter and holding nothing but our need for identity.
The power of fierce vulnerability conditions us to be present with a work colleague who had lost a family member, to sense her pain and to openly listen to her words without judgement or bias. This power allows us to recognise our fear, when we pick ourselves up from a failed venture and start the journey of a new one, harnessing that fear and turning it into an energy that drives our entire team forward.
Think of fierce vulnerability as a non-defensive stance that empowers us to be as widely open as possible to our experience. Being open, with no judgement or defensiveness, we are less susceptible to the opacity of barriers, layers and masks; we are transparent and fiercely present in the moment with our experience, not thinking about what may have been or what we have to do, and the people we lead or who look to us for guidance feel this depth of open presence acutely; many times we don’t even need to say anything as our presence provides an abundance of comfort and compassion.
In a state of fierce vulnerability we see control for the illusion that it is; we attune to the inevitability of suffering; we release our grasping to rationalise, measure and explain and we accept the unpredictability, mutability and inexplicability of the universe; we also operate from a place of greater receptivity to not only to those around us but also, quietening the thrall of our ego, to our inner soul guidance.
Fiercely vulnerable we approach the point of invulnerability, not as a barrier to emotion or protection from pain or death, but as an eternal openness within which there is no place for our fear to cling to and like a wind blowing through an open space it dissipates. Replacing this fear our fierce vulnerability becomes a power of abundance that we hold not only for ourselves, but also for everything and everyone in the universe, to whom we are intimately connected.
The night before my 6-hour heart operation I was exhausted from the almost constant beating of my heart in a life threatening rhythm that fluctuated as high as double the normal heart rate. I was overcome with concern about whether the procedure to ablate the electrical misfirings in my heart would work or not. My mind was awash with a heady potion of positive and negative thoughts and endless questioning. My cardiologist came to visit me. Rather than launch into a monologue about the efficacy of the procedure and what he would be doing in the morning, he simply stayed with me in silence. I could tell he was attuned to my racing thoughts and fears. I could also feel his fierce presence and this calmed me right down.
“Try to get some sleep,” he said, squeezing my hand and giving my one final glance that was suffused with compassion. In that moment I felt a wave of gratitude wash over me. I was in good, caring hands and I trusted myself to the flow of events, my fear no longer held my entire attention and my questioning mind subsided. I felt connected to the world around me and that I was at home in my hospital room. The next morning I was wheeled into the operating theatre with a calm mind and receptive body.