How to Breathe in More Resilience

This is Day Twenty Three in the 30 Days of Reinvention Video Series [#30DaysReinvention].

Reduce stress and build resilience through breathing techniques.

FULL TRANSCRIPT

Hey, it’s Rand,

The second element in the happiness algorithm is being resilient, and the most effective method to build up resilience is to breathe.

By controlling your breathing patterns you alter your emotions and induce stress reduction.

When I was in the military I trained myself to deal with stress but taking a deep breath

and letting it out slowly.  This would help to reduce my anxiety about a stressful situation

and it also increased my clarity of thought so that I could determine how to deal with a sticky situation in the most effective way.

Extending your inhalation and exhalation for just 10 minutes a day can bring noticeable relaxation.

By engaging in deep abdominal breathing you stimulate your vagus nerve, which acts to calm your stress induced fight or flight response. Breathing deeply into your abdominal chamber involves expanding your diaphragm, which is the muscle that sits lengthwise between your stomach and chest.

Reduce your number of breaths by 50% per minute, long and slow 4 to 5 second in breaths and then 4 to 5 second out breaths. Preferably your exhalations should be slightly longer than your inhalations.

Try it now.

Take a deep breath in, hold and then let it out slowly.

Hold.

Take a deep breath in, hold and let it out slowly.

Hold.

Resume normal breathing.

Try that for a series of 6 cycles over the next week and notice how your body changes: your posture will relax; you will feel more focused.

How to Find Your Soul Voice

This is Day Twenty One in the 30 Days of Reinvention Video Series [#30DaysReinvention].

Break the vicious cycle of busyness and delayed joy.

FULL TRANSCRIPT

Hey it’s Rand,

It can take months, even years to reinvent yourself.

The journey usually starts with a sense of the collapse of your ego structure.

Something much deeper within you seeks to voice itself. Think of this as your soul voice.

At this point you begin to recalibrate the structures that surround you. To align with your soul voice.

You may need to change:

  • your workplace
  • your community
  • your activities.

The catalyst for starting this journey may be a profound feeling of apathy; it may be a feeling of anger or even isolation.

Whatever it is that signals the breaking of the vicious cycle of busyness and delayed joy for you, you should welcome it with open arms.

My near death experience broke my vicious cycle: I still get goose bumps thinking about it; I was able to still my busy mind and focus inward; I peeled back layer upon layer, until all that remained was my inner voice; with constant exercise it became stronger, and as it did I became calmer and more attuned to the universe. For the first time, pure joy entered my life.

Be aware that the journey of reinvention can be a painful time, filled with confusion and fear; repressed feelings can flood into your consciousness; moments of uncertainty about the path forward can hinder your progress.

But it is such a worthwhile journey. Instead of being filled with your own joyless noise, you will begin to listen at a deeper level. And you will start to hear what the people around you are really saying.

Invest the time to determine what excites you; invest the time to determine what delivers you real meaning; work on that the rest of your life.

This work’s true value is fulfilment and inner joy. This work is priceless.

 

How to Unleash Your Potential

Think about this for a moment. When we are young we dream impossible dreams, but as we get older these can be all but knocked out of us:  perhaps by societally induced constraints; perhaps by our parents’ ambitions for us, perhaps by our peer group’s limiting beliefs, perhaps by our inherited dogma, or perhaps by our upbringing.

You know the score: as we hit failures, feel pushed outside our comfort zone, and get older, we start to develop a series of self-limitations that can hold us back from using even more.

Sadly, we might believe we’ve missed the boat, that we’re not capable enough, or don’t have the right personality or social set to attain success.

Don’t worry. There’s a solution. The good news is that we are all born with the powers we need to achieve our absolute potential.

What if I could show you how to be fierce and harness your super powers to reinvent your life, and through them, achieve your absolute potential, as if born again, without constraints?

Would you be in?

Let me lead you through my new book, Fierce Reinvention: A Guide to Harnessing Your Superpowers for Entrepreneurial and Leadership Success ($11.99 digital, $15.99 print (USD), October 2017), which is available from Amazon.

How to Punch Through Failure

This is Day Eighteen in the 30 Days of Reinvention Video Series [#30DaysReinvention].

Adopt behaviors that make failure a learning exercise.

FULL TRANSCRIPT

Hey it’s Rand,

Don’t let fear prevent you from doing what you need to do to have an impact.

One of our biggest fears is the fear of failure. You need to comfortably face this fear and there are behaviours you should adopt to help you punch through failure.

Firstly, fail fast and succeed slow.

Don’t be afraid to experiment. Most successful leaders failed  multiple time before they had a success.

Robert Kiyosaki says, “Failure is part of the process of success. People who avoid failure also avoid success.”

Secondly, succeed and then fail.

A big success can hold us to a high bar of what success is. This can make us less open to failure. Put your ego aside, lower your benchmarks and be prepared to fail before your next success.

This will relieve the pressure, and allow you to iterate more with more chance of magic happening.

Winston Churchill said, “Success is not final, failure is not fatal.”

Thirdly, get into failure flow.

Be mindful of failure, because failing without learning is a wasteful exercise.

Try to be aware of what is happening as a project fails. If you are in failure flow you will see the elements that lead to failure as if in slow motion.

Henry Ford said, “The only real mistake is the one from which we learn nothing.”

Fourthly, only fail when you cannot succeed.

Let’s face it, failure sucks. It sets you back. It impacts the lives of people who believe in you. It impacts the lives of people who rely on you.

Have grit and persistence  and don’t choose failure as an easy way out when the going gets tough.

Fifthly, fail resiliently.

Get up, take the hit and move forward.

When you fail and I hope you will, how do you treat it?

Yep, your heard right: I want you to fail; I want you to fail often!

Why?

Because every failure brings you one step closer to success.

How you deal with each failure, big or small, determines whether you will succeed.

CS Lewis said, Failures are finger posts on the road to achievement.”

Want to Know the Secret to Avoiding Failure, Forever?

Want to learn how to never fail, ever again?

Do you want to learn the overarching or universal rule to never failing?

It all comes back to how we define failure and what we do when faced with a setback.

Deep down you know this is true: if things don’t work out, for whatever reason, we have failed only if we do not try again. And, sadly, sometimes things don’t work out multiple times in a row.

But boom! All it takes is for us to succeed once and we are seen as a success.

It’s simple. The universal rule to never failing is NEVER GIVE UP!

It really is that simple. As I discuss in my book, Fierce Reinvention, I define failure with a capital “F.” In our journey as leaders we can expect to lowercase fail many times. An uppercase Fail
would take place were we to check out, completely.

For many people the fear of failure holds them back from doing things. At best
such fear is self-limiting, at worst it can be debilitating. And that’s just sad.

What it all boils down to is that we don’t know why we are here, on Earth, but it’s not just to make money or have fun; we are all on rickety little boats that are motoring across the narrow expanse of time that is our lifespan; if we want to be successful then we’ve got to leave a wake behind us; if we take life too slow and steady we don’t create a wake and then what’s the point.

So what’s the answer? The secret to success is the realization that failure isn’t a big deal.

Unfortunately, we tend to get entangled in what we should and shouldn’t do. When we unravel this we formulate constraints on what can and can’t be done. They appear fact-like,
yet they are far from it. They only amount to conversations that we have in our
heads. The challenge is that we are having these conversations at such a rate that they seem to crystallize into facts.

But the silver lining is that as long as the solidifying conversations are driven by
positive, motivating thoughts then they are not a bad thing. It’s when we view fear-induced inner conversations as fact that we limit ourselves.

Be warned that without training and mindfully creating a different set of thoughts we can easily default to that negative conversation.

The truth is that we need to do all we can to banish negative thoughts; we need to do all we can to banish fear and focus on having a positive conversation in our heads. It seems overly simplistic but the cool thing is that we can change reality through the power of what we say to ourselves: as ourpositive thoughts and conversations crystallize into facts, we change reality by having these positive facts guide us, instead of the fearful ones.

You start by imagining a yes when you were expecting a no; you start by acting confident when youfeel nervous; and wham! You can reinvent yourself and become the person you want to be.

Here’s the secret: act like the person you want to be and success will triumph over failure. Remember that success and failure are far from random; they live within the very DNA of our
character and personality; they are expressed through our thoughts and actions.

All in all, we choose which side of the fine line we find ourselves on—success or
failure—by our courage in the face of both adversity and uncertainty and
also how we choose to visualize ourselves.

My new book, Fierce Reinvention: A Guide to Harnessing Your Superpowers for Entrepreneurial and Leadership Success ($11.99 digital, $15.99 print (USD), October 2017) is available from Amazon.

How to Behave Successfully in the Face of Failure

This is Day Seventeen in the 30 Days of Reinvention Video Series [#30DaysReinvention].

Surround yourself with failure and embrace it.

FULL TRANSCRIPT

Hey it’s Rand,

Success and failure are far from random.

They live within the DNA of our character and personality.

Success and failure are expressed through our thoughts and actions.

Both success and failure are subjective and depend a lot on  your mindset, your expectations and whether you react positively or negatively to a situation you are presented with.

How does your society define success?

How does your society define failure?

Does your personal definition of success and failure differ from that of your society?

Do you view disappointment as a natural part of expansion?

When you fall short recognise this not as failure, but as an integral part of the cycle and journey to success.

Disappointment is an inevitability if you are courageous enough to moonshot.

When you do fail, make sure you get back on the horse and keep riding.

Success with failure comes down to how you behave in the face of failure.

Failures are a form of feedback. They are never total failures because they show you what you shouldn’t do and what you should do better.

When you fail the first thing you should do is: Celebrate, because you are one step closer to understanding what works and what doesn’t.

And then the second thing you should do is systematise what you do with failures. Create a way of extracting the key learnings from ongoing failures so that they bring you closer and closer to success.

Failure may not be what you wake up every day hoping for, but successful leaders surround themselves with failure and embrace it.

 

Are you afraid of having difficult, confronting conversations?

Picture the scene: you need to confront a colleague, a loved one or a friend about something they’ve done or not done. But you are afraid that the conversation will go badly. They will deny, they will overreact, they will shift the blame to you. And so instead you deny, ignore, and obfuscate that they ever did or didn’t do that for which you need to confront them.

Get this: one of the biggest fears we often encounter as leaders is about having difficult
conversations.

Astonishing, isn’t it? Perhaps it is due to us having an inbuilt, culturally amplified tendency
to want to avoid conflict. Perhaps it is due to us wanting to avoid those conversations with others, and ourselves, that may be difficult, and in which we may well encounter aggression.

But here’s the thing: when we confront our fears head on—and not displace them onto others through blame, or other avoidance mechanisms—it is easier to be honest.

Think about your interactions over the last few years. Now ask yourself the question: How many fierce conversations can I recall?

The point? For most people, fierce conversations are quite rare.

And what’s worse? We’re often not comfortable with revealing our real selves; we’re often not comfortable revealing our true thoughts in a social or business setting.

The cool thing, though, is that when we come out from behind the mask and speak with honesty and compassion, then we stop fearing difficult conversations.

And even better: this in turn makes it easier for others to be honest with us too.

The end result is the beginning of a more honest dialogue.

So, it all adds up to this, every time you feel that you are being guarded in your behavior, be mindful that this is tantamount to failure. By being overly careful you are postponing the behavior and the
conversation that wants and needs to be taking place.

It’s simple, don’t overthink it. Ask yourself:

• What am I avoiding saying that needs to be said?
• What conversations am I keeping bottled up inside?

To sum up, by having fierce conversations you release any tension that has been rising and you free yourself of the build-up of both emotional and physical toxins.

Find out more about being fierce in my new book, Fierce Reinvention: A Guide to Harnessing Your Superpowers for Entrepreneurial and Leadership Success ($11.99 digital, $15.99 print (USD), October 2017) is available from Amazon and other leading online bookstores.

What’s Really Holding You Back From Greatness?

There seems to be an all too common theme I’m seeing these days. People know subconsciously that they need to make radical changes in their lives, but then their egos talk them out of it and they revert to form.

Change takes courage, change takes a different attitude.

This is why I advocate adopting fierce reinvention, or something similar, as your mantra for change.

Let me give you a recent case study. Markus has spent the last decade and a half getting up at 4am, kissing his sleeping children on the forehead and then hitting the road to get to his business. He works the corporate treadmill solidly until late in the evening. He repeats this every day of the week and his business is thriving. On weekends family time is sacrosanct.

But here’s the thing: his business isn’t scaling and he cannot take his eye off it for more than a minute. Over the years he has tried a few different angles to introduce scale and reduce frictions. He diversified from being purely services-based and introduced a product line that leveraged his strong brand. But without the resources to market this product it hasn’t progressed beyond a novelty. He’s diversified his personal asset base, but the upside hasn’t eventuated.

He admits he has no real strategy, plan or goal in place. And frustratingly, every time he tries something innovative he quickly gets pulled back into the day to day of his current business.

He recently bought himself a luxury motor vehicle as a reward for his years and years of hard work. He feels guilty driving it.

A couple of weeks ago Markus woke in the middle of the night with pains in his chest. He was terrified he was having a heart attack. Death felt imminent, but he convinced himself it was an anxiety attack due to the pressures he is under. He didn’t go for a medical check up, yet was sufficiently shaken up to give his wife a brief on what to do with his estate should he die.

And then he went back to the corporate treadmill. He convinced himself that he is in control; he will consider making a New Year’s resolution to bring changes to his life.

What would you do in Markus’s situation?

I put this question to Hamish Thomson from Priority Advisory Group. His answer:

Markus should take a step back to evaluate. Changes are necessary, he knows this.

Being fierce resonates with him. If he is going to implement changes that can improve his relationships, business, health, why would he wait?

It doesn’t make sense to say I’ll be fierce next week (or in January), or I’ll be slightly fierce today.

Fierce implies urgency.

How to Centre Yourself

This is Day Ten in the 30 Days of Reinvention Video Series [#30DaysReinvention].

Create behaviors and patterns that become your soul habits.

FULL TRANSCRIPT

Hey its Rand,

The end result of a deep, contemplative self-inquiry is the release of emotions, fears, feelings and thoughts that may have been swirling around for years, if not decades.

You may feel the shift within you as you transition from draining habits that have weighed you down into more aligned and energy-generating patterns.

What are your current rituals for connecting to and centering yourself?

What things do you do that fuel your energy?

What things do you do that nourish your deepest self?

How do you create moments of pause during your day?

As you unpack who and what you want to be in the world, I suggest you devise a set of daily, weekly and monthly patterns that fit with your reinvention.

These are your soul habits and could include listening to more music that stimulates your flow state; it could also include regular walks or runs through a nearby forest, on your local beach or around an oval.

Your aim at this point is to turn these activities into instilled behaviours.  You can achieve this by doing them on a daily and or weekly basis

Your aim is to be prepared for that inevitable moment when your life gets busy or crazily complicated.

At such a time we usually prioritise tackling whatever crisis has come up and our intentions to exercise more, be more mindful, eat healthier get dropped quicker than you can say “New Years Resolutions”.

Now you will be armed with a newfound resilience so that you’ll be able to handle those tough moments with ease and maintain your soul habits.

In later videos I’ll talk through how you can map these soul habits  onto the Fierce Operating System so that you get even greater alignment and grow your familiarity with your new behaviours.

Choose How You Confront Fear

 

FEAR.

It’s always there. It can either liberate or bury you. It all depends on how you deal with it.

Compare fear with the wind. When it is a gentle breeze against your cheek, you hardly notice it. However, when it turns into a howling gale you instinctively brace into it.

No matter its strength you only become mindful of the wind when you notice it, gently rippling over or buffeting your whole body. In that moment of mindfulness you can decide to enjoy nature or cower from its power.

Fear is always blowing. At times with ferocity.

Choosing how you confront fear puts you in power.